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Mem
I still remember the very cold January morning; I
was not listening to the pre-counselling, I thought it did not
concern me. I just wanted to get the test done and over with…
Then came the shock! My life changed in a matter of seconds.
I had arrived from Zimbabwe on 20th December to attend
my paternal aunt’s wedding the following day. The wedding
went very well, it even snowed! Christmas followed and the
celebrations seemed endless. I started feeling unwell after
Christmas, thought it was all the hectic celebrations and weather
and maybe I still had jetlag. I tried a few over-the-counter
remedies for colds and flu but did not get any better. My aunt,
a retired nurse, advised me to go for an HIV test, just in case… It
was then that I had gone to St Ann’s with a cousin and my friend.
I had been working for 16 years for a Southern Africa regional
NGO, as an IT Manager. I had an annual bonus of US$2,000, to
spend outside the country, so I got a ticket plus spending money,
and came for four weeks – for the wedding and those fabulous
January sales! I had visited the UK on several occasions in the past on holiday and work.
I worried, and the word DEATH featured in my thoughts all the
time. I could see myself as one of those people in the media
adverts of Africans dying of AIDS – just skin and bones,
I was frightened.
I had unfinished business back home. I changed my return ticket
several times hoping that I would still be able to go home.
My annual leave was running out, I asked my boss for a month’s
extension, citing a kidney infection that would soon go away.
My son, 15, was going back to boarding school – fortunately
my employer paid for my son’s fees as part of my contract and I
had left my parents in charge of my son. But there was also my
rent, property and other bills, car, etc…
I asked the consultant if I could get enough drugs so I could go
back home to resign from my job properly, before coming back
to continue with treatment (I had to make sure I collected my
pension and tied up all loose ends, but was told this was
not possible.
I had a 65K viral load and CD4 was below 10, I had to start ART
immediately. I read the enclosed medication leaflets and could
not believe I was actually on treatment for HIV!
After two weeks on treatment, I started having terrible side
effects and other infections kicked in. They suspected I had
TB, so while I was waiting for the test results, I was started on
TB treatment. Three months later it turned out that I did not
have TB after all, but at the stage I was taking up to 18 tablets a
day. I could not eat and lost a lot of weight. I was admitted to
hospital for two weeks with high fever and was very anaemic.
A scan detected malfunctioning liver and abnormal kidneys
– polycystic kidneys are hereditary in my family.
During this time, worry and I became good friends; worry
brought along stress, anxiety, fear and depression to keep
me company. I then came to PW with a cousin to attend the
support group. It was a life changing experience, and my life
took a turn for the better!
My visa was expiring in June; I had a solicitor and sent in my
application for leave to remain on compassionate grounds. I
then applied to join the Positively UK volunteer training in October; I was
depressed most of the time but realised I had to do something
with my life in order to move on. I am still a volunteer and
was nominated Volunteer of the Year by the Third
Sector magazine.
So, five years down the line, I wonder when I will ever see my
only child; my immigration is
still unresolved, I cannot
be gainfully employed
and I cannot travel
outside the UK.
I have however
made great
friends through
HIV and I get a
lot of inspiration
from them. I still
have a lot to
smile about!
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